Sep 12, 2006

Junk, unsolicited, unwanted bulk e-mail. Anyway you say it it's still spam.

Spam
Dear spammers,

I would like to thank all you "thoughtful" spammers who kept writing to me while I was away on vacation for two weeks. It took me only an hour and 45 minutes to filter out all my mailboxes.

First of all, I don't need any viagra. Thank you for asking. Grandma said honey and walnuts always did the trick with Grampa. Energizer bunny rabbit performance AND a sugar rush.

Secondly, if my penis (that is, IF I had one) needed enlargement I'd be more worried about my brain's capacity to ever even consider such an operation via cheesy spam propositions. Please stop with the measurement suggestions. I shudder at the thought of pull and stretch (and I'm not even a guy).

Third and lastly, all the other varying spam subjects regarding easy mortgages, free university degrees and get-rich schemes... I can't help wondering how many schmucks have replied, consequently encouraging you, spam fiends, to keep sending more and more infuriating messages and hogging up bandwidth.

In short, I'M NOT INTERESTED. NO, THANK YOU. PLEASE, STOP.

Sincerely,
Me.


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