Sep 28, 2006

Observing my one-year blogging experience

About a year and half ago a friend told me he had started a blog and invited me to stop over. So I did the polite thing and visited. I even left my first blog comment ever (as plain Athena, Flubberwinkle hadn't been born yet). I liked the interface and how easy it was for my non-computer oriented friend to get online and "just do it". Then I started following his "blog-roll" on the side and my jaw dropped wide open...

The randomness of subjects, the baring of souls, a myriad of different thoughts and unlike approaches on dis/similar matters. I was in awe. And I was ashamed. Where was I when all this was going on? Why hadn't I been paying closer attention to this wonderful evolution on the web? A new medium where everyone is equal. Equal access to FREE blogging software and a personal FREE cyber soapbox, where anyone can write as long or as short or as misspelled as they please with essentially no limits or restrictions on subject matter.

I liked reading and commenting on other people's blogs but felt like a lurking outsider in my non-blogger status. I wanted in. The astounding magnitude of the blogging community, however, was daunting and adding another blog to the heap made me have doubts as to whether I should actually partake.

Then it dawned on me that the resplendency of blogging is exactly that: Adding YOUR voice, your own, unique voice to the pile. Keeping this rule of thumb in mind, united with the memory of how much I liked writing, my blog pseudonym came to life.

One morning, soon after I started this blog, I sat staring at the screen in disbelief. Someone (thank you Windfall Woman) had actually stopped by and read my post and left the first comment. Funnily, I had the following schizophrenic reaction: "Oh, goodie, someone read it"! and at the same time, "Oh, shit, someone read it".

Still shaking my head in amazement that someone had dropped off cyber-highway onto my piffling web-nook and, moreover, had bothered to take the time to comment I became alarmed. People drop in to r-e-a-d your posts. Oh-oh, *big gulp*.

Should I write often? How often is often? What if I don't have ANY ideas? What would BE a good idea? What if people DON'T like what I write? What if they DO? What if the publicity goes to my HEAD? What should I WEAR to the Oscars after my blog turns into a award-winning novel and then a smash-hit movie?

SLAP. Reality check.

I started this blog as a creative outlet, mainly about turning mundane things in my life into short,short stories aka "flubberwinklisms". I'm neither reporting news from Greece nor aiming to target any particular subject. Just a humble citizen of both virtual and non-virtual worlds, writing in my voice, being honest, aspiring to make at least one person come away from these web pages with a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling.

In any case, even if people storm out of my blog because of its sheer inutility, I've made my uselessness known to the Internet and that's gotta count for something on Blog Judgement Day. Maybe C+ for my effort?

I've noticed, throughout the blogosphere, that some blogs don't handle online rejection very well, some build their hopes too high or keep doubting their quality. I've seen blogs suddenly stop or switch to 'comments off' option. I've come across several "good-bye cruel blogosphere" blogicide notes, which lead me to assume that most bloggers go through a recurring "what-the-hell-was-I-thinking?" phase after our initial blog enthusiasm settles down or blogger's block ensues. I've witnessed humble blogs grow up and become their-own-domain-name dot coms with incredible readership.

The best part of blogging is that if someone doesn't like your writings or if you don't like theirs, then you just move on to another blog. As simple and as democratic as that. No one is forcing anyone to read another's blog.

Anyway you see it, blogging is awesome. And because it's a relatively new way of communicating, continuously evolving yet always a novelty, we're all trying to find our bearings.

Those who do (re)visit and take the time to read me, I thank you for indulging me and helping me overcome my fear of "talking in public".

And to all the steady and random blogs I visit, comment, stalk I want to thank you for sharing your feelings, experiences, photos, beliefs.

I feel like we're all sharing a spot of tea (or a mug of coffee) in a global cafe and I look forward to reading what's been on your mind.

I have learned much and constantly reminded how small this planet is and how alike, yet singularly different, we all are.

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Sep 27, 2006

Turn ON your cell phones, the concert's about to start...

The first-ever concertino for cell phones and orchestra. Very creative, bravo maestro! Putting those annoying ringtones to good use by serving a higher art. Hmm, I wonder how it will come out. Hopefully, they'll upload audio samples from the concertino online. [link]

P.S. I hope the cell-phone hogs out there don't misconstrue this. [rant face on] It's STILL not OK to leave your cell-phones on during the movie or the play... ya idiots![/rant face off]

[greek news source]
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Sep 26, 2006


Sep 22, 2006

Losing something in the translation

Translation, undoubtedly is tricky business due to quirky singularities of various languages and alas something will always get lost along the way, like... a 3000 year old city.

English sightseeing brochure printed by the municipality of Jerusalem:
"Jerusalem. There is no such city!"

Huh? Where'd it go?

What they MEANT to say, according to the original Hebrew version: "Jerusalem. There is no city like it!"
[source]



More amusing (or downright creepy) translations from my funny e-mail collection:



In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."

In a Bangkok dry cleaners: "Drop your trousers here for best results."

On the menu of a Polish hotel: "Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across an Orthodox monastery: "You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursdays."

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."

Outside a Paris dress shop: "Dresses for street walking."

In a Tokyo bar: "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."

In an Acapulco hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

A sign in a convenience store window: "If you write bad checks, we will prostitute"

In a Yugoslavian hotel: "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: "It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose."

In a hotel in Athens: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily."

In a Japanese hotel: "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

In a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in a strict rotation."

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel A/C: "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."

In the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."

In a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: "Would you like to ride on your own ass?"

In a Tokyo Hotel: "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notice."

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Sep 19, 2006

Sit ups from hell

Couldn't sleep last night. Switched on the television hoping it would make me drowsy. 3 am TV time comes cheap and I was watching one telemarketing commercial for fitness contraptions after the other: ab king pro, abdomenizer, thigh master... [yawn]. If you've seen one lean, sexy ab, you've seen them all. Eyelids started feeling heavy.

Just as Mr.Sandman was tiptoeing his way to me, I came fully awake with the display of "Hang Ups" or what I reckon are sit-ups straight from the depths of hell.

Sit-ups and crunches are obviously not enough for fitness
freaksbuffs who can't get enough pain. 'Hang Ups' is sit ups with a Marquis de Sade twist, you hang upside down in the comfort of your own home and try to do sit ups vertically, defying gravity. Oh, and it only costs 489 euros (packaging and shipping included).

What disturbed me most about this exerciser from Lucifer's Gym is that there are people who actually sit down and invent such devices.

Who could go to sleep after that?

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Sep 17, 2006

Our postman needs wringing... twice*

We have a postman on our route who believes that by bringing everyone's mail together, peace and harmony will prevail in our suburbial mail district. His idea of getting to know your neighbour means dropping the mail off at random houses every week. Most of the houses on our street are single-family homes, which means that everyone has their own mailbox near the sidewalk, the main gate or the front door. OUR mailman wouldn't ever DREAM of stopping at every. single. mailbox. to distribute the mail. Nope. One-stop bundle per street. Our postman punches in for work at 7am and by 8am he's done for the day. Off for his frappe and a nap after a hard day's work.

This summer was the worst yet. Neighbours gone on vacations at varying times our bills and letters were held hostage in assorted mailboxes with no way out. Our telephone line was cut off as a result of our phone bill's confinement, having arrived at a house 3 blocks down while its dwellers were away. By the time the family returned and put on their mailman cap, our bill had expired and phone company went 'snip-snip' without us knowing we owed them.

Complain? Yes, we have. Results? No, we haven't any. Some neighbours say that it isn't worth the fight. Some are worried that if we persist and take things a step further we may NEVER see our mail EVER again. Snail mail extortion by a lazy mailman.

Where's a killer dog when you need one?
Beware! Fluffy is on mailman patrol.


*For those too young to remember, this title is a wordplay of the classic crime novel "The Postman Always Rings Twice".
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Sep 15, 2006


Sep 14, 2006

The little witch in me

The little witch in meThe one thing I wished for more than anything as a kid was to receive proof that I was actually a witch amongst mere mortals. When Hagrid, the cuddly half-giant, announced to Harry that "he's a wizard", a tear ran down my cheek. My fantasy come true (well, that, and er, another one in my early adult years with Han Solo dressed as Indiana Jones).

I'm almost certain that deep down inside I possess magical powers. However, the "forces" that regulate witching privileges have decided that I shouldn't reveal them yet or, perhaps, save them for a following life.

Releasing the sorceress in me would not give me the right to grant 'world peace' and 'stop global warming'. There are, after all, wizarding laws that prevent us from intervening with human stupidity. BUT, I would use my nose-twitching, ear-pulling, wand-waving techniques for small, baby-step changes towards the betterment of society.

For instance, this morning as I was going to work I witnessed an imbecile car passenger sling out his styrofoam coffee cup onto the side of the road (straw and all). At that moment I pressed my lips hard and wished my magical powers would surface. I wanted to make that cup bounce back into his lap, spill the remaining contents on his head, shred the styrofoam and stuff it down his pants and stick that straw up his nostril. No, scratch that. His ass.

I guess that's why the "elders slash wise ones" haven't granted me use of magic yet. I'm too creative.

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Sep 12, 2006

Junk, unsolicited, unwanted bulk e-mail. Anyway you say it it's still spam.

Spam
Dear spammers,

I would like to thank all you "thoughtful" spammers who kept writing to me while I was away on vacation for two weeks. It took me only an hour and 45 minutes to filter out all my mailboxes.

First of all, I don't need any viagra. Thank you for asking. Grandma said honey and walnuts always did the trick with Grampa. Energizer bunny rabbit performance AND a sugar rush.

Secondly, if my penis (that is, IF I had one) needed enlargement I'd be more worried about my brain's capacity to ever even consider such an operation via cheesy spam propositions. Please stop with the measurement suggestions. I shudder at the thought of pull and stretch (and I'm not even a guy).

Third and lastly, all the other varying spam subjects regarding easy mortgages, free university degrees and get-rich schemes... I can't help wondering how many schmucks have replied, consequently encouraging you, spam fiends, to keep sending more and more infuriating messages and hogging up bandwidth.

In short, I'M NOT INTERESTED. NO, THANK YOU. PLEASE, STOP.

Sincerely,
Me.


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Sep 10, 2006

The threat promise fulfilled

I said I'd be back and true to my word... Tada! I'd appreciate it if the Internet in the back rows would stop the whining.

Vacation's over. Batteries recharged. Mind relaxed. Skin tanned. Washing machine spinning load after load of laundry. Suitcases packed away. Digital camera's flash disk brimming with holiday moments.

Vacation debriefing: We stayed at Elaionas. Near the town of Diakopto, situated in Northern Peloponese (Greece, for those wondering where Peloponese is).

Our rented home away from home for two weeks...
Our home away from home (for two weeks) Summer house veranda

The view from the house...
Helmos' foothills from our bedroom window Waking up to Helmos' foothills

The beach was 75 metres away...
Beach at noon Kids against the waves Beach at sunset

There were flowers everywhere...
The garden leading to the beach Pomegranate Roses in garden Roses on marble table Rose

...and where there are flowers, there are bugs. And distraught Goth daughters.
Bee n Flower Bee on soda bottle Bumble Bee at work

There were trees and a lot of clean air...
Capturing the sunrise through the aspen foliage

Tree happy Tree happy 2

And where there's clean air, there are beautiful skies...
Clouds Clouds Clouds


Postcard moments...
Flip flops on the beach Beach towel attack Postcard Instead of building castles in the sand... Greek Cactus disguised as a Jamaican Tavern on the beach Greek lunch by the sea First annual bean soup festival

Cog railway from Diakopto to Kalavryta...
Scenic waterfalls and Vouraikos river

Getting the camera ready to go through the tunnel Boarded and ready to go

Two weeks with no computer, television or radio...
Our recreation table Reading about blogs on the beach Husband reading The Eternal Husband by F.Dostoevsky

I read...
Painting Mona Lisa by J.Kalogridis
The Sea by J.Banville
The Observations by J.Harris
...and I did a whole lot of crossword puzzles. Sudoku still remains a mystery, however and I'm sorry to report that I have yet to solve one successfully.

I wish you all "Kalo Heemona!" [Greek expression for "Have a good winter!"]

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