Feb 9, 2006

Bad hair year(s)

I have tried to indulge my family in their desire to see my hair grow long. Many a time I have attempted to pull this off only to end up in a hairdresser's chair demanding: "Away with it". All those months of tedious hair growing and grooming wind up on the floor before you can pronounce Vidal Sasoon.

Farah, you made my high school hair days a living nightmare! You weren't my favorite Angel anyway!I like an ultra-short, manageable crown. I am useless with a brush and hair-dryer. I want hair that won't fly like Albert's and requires only a simple shampooing. (Not even conditioning). I can't hairstyle if my life depended on it. If aliens abducted me and told me that they'd release me only if I provide them with a nice hairdo, well you could kiss my earth-grown tooshie good bye. The Farah Fawcett feathery look in high school and my inability with the curling rod turned out to be trauma worthy of many hours of therapy.

Bad dog! Where's your head band?I haven't cut my hair for almost 2 years. Thank the salon gods for inventing head bands. I use them to hold back my tresses so I don't resemble a sheep dog overdue for a dog-care appointment. I'm caught in a mane dilemma battling in my mind. And where do I go to clear out my mind? You got it. The Internet!

Sheena and Lady Di were my hair idols!I'm nearing 40, should I cut it because my hair cuticles are getting thinner? (Alright already, I meant older!) On the other hand if I cut it, I won't be able to grow my hair on a whim, will I? Should I revert to my double-chinned version of Sheena Easton's 80s look because (a) I like it, (b) it is environmentally friendly (less water while shampooing means more conservation), (c) both of the above?

The bottom line is making my image bearable for people outside me (that sounds creepy). I will continue to sacrifice my hair length preferences for the time being. I want my family to be happy with my reflection. Besides, I just look at myself long enough to pop in my contact lenses and put on my head band. But, I absolutely draw the line on hair dyes! Quit telling me I'd make a cute red-head! I'm not blimey Irish you know!