Sep 12, 2006

Junk, unsolicited, unwanted bulk e-mail. Anyway you say it it's still spam.

Spam
Dear spammers,

I would like to thank all you "thoughtful" spammers who kept writing to me while I was away on vacation for two weeks. It took me only an hour and 45 minutes to filter out all my mailboxes.

First of all, I don't need any viagra. Thank you for asking. Grandma said honey and walnuts always did the trick with Grampa. Energizer bunny rabbit performance AND a sugar rush.

Secondly, if my penis (that is, IF I had one) needed enlargement I'd be more worried about my brain's capacity to ever even consider such an operation via cheesy spam propositions. Please stop with the measurement suggestions. I shudder at the thought of pull and stretch (and I'm not even a guy).

Third and lastly, all the other varying spam subjects regarding easy mortgages, free university degrees and get-rich schemes... I can't help wondering how many schmucks have replied, consequently encouraging you, spam fiends, to keep sending more and more infuriating messages and hogging up bandwidth.

In short, I'M NOT INTERESTED. NO, THANK YOU. PLEASE, STOP.

Sincerely,
Me.


.

5 comments:

nuntius said...

I feel like adding that little Anna who needs blood for the last 25 years will be probably dead by now so stop sending e-mails requesting blood for the same person. Also, i don't have breasts either to enlarge. Of course we always have to worry about mails with orders, do this and that and that to 12568 ppl, or the curse of the pharaons will follow us for the next 69 years - i am confused, why is pharaon worrying if my favorite color is blue or red? Did the pharaon read e-mails? Anyway, don't forget to read ALL your e-mails or you will probably die poor and lonenly!
PS. As a web designer, among others, i find very attractive to receive e-mails from a company who claims to be searious and offers to make my website. In fact, i prefer to enlarge my breasts...

V-Grrrl said...

The best thing about switching to Yahoo as my primary address: No spam. They've got very effective filters.

DrMax said...

Wait, wait....you're going to fast...h..o..n..e..y and w...a..l..n...

nuntius said...

v-grrrl i a yahoo adress too, but i don't use it anymore for the last few years, i just make sure that it remains active, from time to time. I receive spam there too. The only benefit you got when using yahoo or other web based e-mail accounts is that sites you visit cannot find and store your mail adress as it is not stored on your pc (like when using outlook for example). Not to mention that don't have access to your contact list... Unfortunately, once your e-mail adress gets published, like in a forum or smthing, spam will arrive whether u use yahoo or other client.
PS. You can all do this simple thing: i keep record of some of the most annoying spammers and when a site requieres an e-mail adress i put the spammer's e-mail. Spam the spam, this is revenge!

deviousdiva said...

I always hated the real spam that comes in tins but the email spam is just as appalling.